Give and take

T: "What are you doing?"

Z: "I'm doing minutes of meeting...god it's a lot! I kinda hate this job already."

T: "Just pass it to the Vice Secretary lah!"

Z: "I can't la like that..we have to give and take,"

T: "So you give her work and take all the credit lah! Simple. How hard can it be? If you need help with that I can teach you."

Z: "......."



One of the reasons why we're good friends. Things like these make me laugh so hard and forget all that has been clouding up my mind.

Grin

January 2011.

It was the summer holidays for my youngest brother; he studies in Perth. He comes back to KL every now and then, depending on my mother's location. Sometimes my mom goes over there and stays there for a couple of months and comes back.

During those holidays in KL, a favourite activity of my brother is to go to the movies. I can't figure out whether he is a true film buff, or he's just fascinated by the Malaysian cinema scene, or he simply loves catching new movies.

So last year I was free enough to go with him to his cinema endeavours, and you know what you get when you enter the theater a little too early: advertisements. Trust me, I hate them to death. I mean, after a few rounds at the movies, one does tend to get annoyed with the same ads. I could list them one by one, and what I find silly or funny about them, but that could be fit into another entry.

Anyway, one of these ads were really cute and caught both me and my brother's attention; it was Liese Bubble Hair Colour.

Yes it is thee.

Now the models were obviously cutie pies, and the fact that you could just 'shampoo' your hair, play with the bubbles and voila there's your new hair colour was kinda cute and silly to us. He would laugh on and on about the ad.. I don't blame him, the girls really did look retarded, looking so enchanted over a damn hair colour shampoo. So it was a running joke at the few more movie sessions we had..

I've never ever coloured my hair before so I thought I was gonna give it a shot, you know, for humour's sake. Goes to show how ads do work..a week later I bought it. And later that night I was all game for the bubble extravaganza.

Bubble here bubble there, mix and shake some chemicals, wow they even provided latex gloves! Felt like a chemist, scratch scratch scratch, spread it here and there..oooh all bubbly all ready.

You see the actual purpose of this entry was to tell you that to me, the most epic, heartwarming, innocent, genuine, cheeky and I-wouldn't-trade-it-for-the-world  grin was from my brother who was on the couch watching TV...

...upon seeing me approach him with the unbelievably big bubble shampoo on my head.

It was the loveliest moment between us.

I've got personality.

The Dalai Lama Personality Test.

Your priority # 1 Tiger: means pride.
Your priority # 2 Horse: means family.
Your priority # 3 Sheep: means love.

Your priority # 4 Cow: means career.

Your priority # 5 Pig: means money.


Your description of Dog (Loyal) implies your own personality.
Your description of Cat (Cute) implies your spouse or couple's personality.
Your description of Rat (Dirty) implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of Coffee (Aromatic) is how you interpret sex.
Your description of Ocean (Peace) implies your own life.


Yellow (Naziha): Someone you will never forget.
Orange (Nienna): Someone you could consider a good friend.
Red (Bella): Someone you really love.
White (Hakam): Your twin soul.
Green (Sarah): Someone you will remember all your life.

Dalai Lama, you're messing with me.

Fall

It's been a while since I've written anything here. This is going to be candid and as raw as possible. I can't afford to alter these thoughts, I enjoy them in this state. Enjoy the frankness of it all.

This past year has been a little less than tumultuous for me. I've been faced with some confusions of the mind, some rather challenging questions I put myself through to answer. From the revelation in May, to the engagement in July, to the reconciliation of conscience in October. Have I been lying to myself too much? Or I have been too honest that I yearn for the truth to uphold itself magically?

I've been thinking a lot these past few weeks. My life is going to change in the near future, and I have to be sure. This dainty but fragile heart of mine is slipping like the most uneven rock on the most uneven cliff. I feel like screaming and declaring my love so loudly but afraid the sound shatters the strongest of structures. Afraid that it isn't meant to be heard, but to be absorbed by these thick walls.

I am afraid.

What if I was meant to fall? What if my story was written to have me saved at the very last sentence?

Give me answers and questions I will I hide.

Lost

"Alas, don’t tell me the Christians are lost.
Don’t tell me the Jews are lost.
Don’t tell me the mystics are lost.
Don’t tell me the infidels are lost.

Alas, my brother, you are lost,
this is why everyone else seems lost."

- Rumi